How not to hostel

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Part of our 8-bed hostel room in Prague.

Let’s file this one under bad hostel etiquette: yelling at the other people in the room to stop making any noise at 8 am. On the one hand, it is 8 am and anyone who was out partying last night wants to sleep in longer. On the other hand, we had to hear you come in late last night and we’ve got places to be.

We’ll call this person “Dude” and in an effort to acknowledge that dickery such as his occurs every population, leave his nationality out. We’ve known since Dude checked in that he has a problem with morning noise, since Stoytcho and I have been up early every morning to explore Prague and found him groaning and growling at any hint of noise. Even when we talk in whispers and pack up quietly, we hear him tossing in his bunk huffing and muttering angrily.

This morning we’re checking out to head to Linz, Austria, and we’re not the only ones up – more than half of the room is awake and preparing to leave, from pulling on clothes to packing away food and water for the day. This proves too much for Dude, whose chorus of groans escalates into a crescendo before he jerks his bed’s curtain open. “This is a hostel! How can you make so much noise? We are supposed to be a community and people are trying to sleep here!” he hisses furiously.

Having traveled through more than a dozen countries and countless terrible sleeping situations, I’ll have none of his accusations. “We’re all on different schedules and some of us get up early. We try not to make noise, but we’re not going to change our plans for you.” He shot back with another retort, and I pointed out that more than half the people in the room were already up. “Look, I can give you earplugs if you want them, but otherwise deal with it. I countered. Rebuked, Dude let out a hiss and yanked his curtain shut again, muttering profanity under his breath.

I would’ve liked to have defused the situation a little less bluntly, but dealing with discomforts like this one are a part of hostel life and you have to adapt. If you get cold easily, you carry an extra blanket or you ask the hostel for one. If you must have tea in the morning, you carry tea. If you can’t sleep with noises, you bring earplugs. And if you can’t adapt, you probably shouldn’t stay in hostels.

There are definitely best practices when hosteling, such as not carrying on conversations late at night or early in the morning, throwing things, fighting over the temperature or whether the window should be closed or open. You should work to make it a liveable space for everyone, sharing outlets to charge phones or computers and trying to keep it clean, because you are a community. Sometimes there will be disagreements or someone will do something that bothers you. In that case, it’s okay to politely ask if they’ll stop doing it. But getting upset and yelling about it is pointless and seriously not cool, Dude.

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After all that unpleasantness, here’s a bumblebee.

One thought on “How not to hostel

  1. I stayed in a hostel in new town Prague and had an experience where ‘Dude’ brought back a potential mate into our fully booked 12 bed dorm just shy of 6 am. From my position roosted above him I could tell I was far from the only person who could hear dudes muttering to dud’ess, generally about how frustrated dude found the situation he put himself in to be and thus wanted to evict everyone else from the room so they could attempt selfless acts to try and save the species from dieing out, I believe this is how dude’s little dude was framing it to him anyway. Dude earned audible groans and mutterings from various bunks as dude punched the wall in frustration sandwiched between the cold, cement rock and a self inflicted supple, hard place.
    After the enduring too much of this poor dudes masochistic cononudrum I found an appropriate song online and decided to pretend my alarm was going off. After a mere 5 minutes of confusion, shouts of threats and good intentioned massages through my mattress the lullaby with a few sleepy responses to dude (he should ‘get the door’ and that ‘you don’t understand mum.) ceased dudes torture as he drifted to sleep free from the desire to save humanity from the seat of his undies.

    Here’s the lullaby, use it wisely.

    Prague also has so many awesome vegan options and is just the most stunning city I visited on my trip.

    Like

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